Deliberations

This picture shows another sleepless night of Fenya; She was restless, and sat finally up, over the unsuspecting Killian. While she observed his calm breathing, she thought about three things, which she would do at every moment, but was unsure which one Fenya should do. The first thought was another escape attempt, well, "escape attempt" was perhaps the wrong term, after all, Killian didn't really hold her tight, he trusted that she wouldn't find a refuge anywhere else, where Fenya could live as a werewolf. The second thought, which Fenya made a little hesitantly though, but could imagine it very well, was the attempt to kill Killian. He slept clearly, a surprising, focused and firm bite in his throat should be enough and she would finally get rid of him. And the last thought, was simple lie back to his side and sleep again. For what was the purpose of an escape attempt? She still didn't know where to go, the humans feared and hated her, as soon as they would recognize her nature, they would without any hesitation try to kill her, or force her into a much worse captivity, and in comparison to Killian's treatment to her, were the other werewolves true beasts, which she really should fear, and at them, she would't survive even a single week. And what was the purpose of biting Killian dead? If she was at all determined and strong enough to actually kill him, that would only have the effect that Fenya would be then all alone. Then she would be final surrounded by dangerous enemies, and would have no one, who could support her, nor defend her without hesitation. For all these things, which force Fenya to stay with Killian, she hated him deeply, because he was responsible for this situation and deliberately brought her into it, but she was gradually tired of this hatred. Too often he had already helped her and showed her the wonderful sides in the life of a werewolf. She simply didn't knew what to think, it made her restlessness that she was simply not able to decide whether she should hate him, for what he had done to her with full intention and without any consideration for her wishes, or should love him , for his boundless affection for her, the many times she could forget a little what she had to go through and felt safe and comfortable on his side, and learned to enjoy her life as a werewolf. Fenya decided to do both, never to forget how she had to suffer because of him, but also not ignore the fact, that she liked him more and more, and lived evermore into his world. With these deliberations, she lay back into the soft furs and snuggled against Killian's warm body, where she found a long and tranquil sleep. 

Well, sorry for the death-like silence on my part, I just needed a fewdays of distance, 

but now, after I took them, I'm back here and try to become more active again.  

I'm personally very satisfied with this somewhat creepy "watching the boyfriend while he's sleeping" picture,
it has a few difficult elements, which has gave me some troubles though, but I really like the result! 
One of these elements, was definitely the perspective of Killian's body, which is very unusual for me
and the proportions were not so easy to draw. The second aspect was the lighting, which I tried to make a little contrasty,
since the from behind shining moon offered that well. But unfortunately I have failed with that a bit, because for some reason,
I still have problems with drawing skin at night and creating a strong contrast without it looks unnatural. 
But apart from that, I like a lot of things in this picture, how the different elements are arranged, how the colors affect the atmosphere,
the sickle moon and in general how Killian and Fenya look, is absolutely to my satisfaction!  



Acrylics, Gouache, Colored Pencils and Ink on A4 Bristol Paper


Here're some other drawings of my characters Fenya and  Killian:  

I hope you will like it!  





Killian, Fenya ©